The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

My husband, daughter and I just returned from a vacation in Florida where we hit up Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios and Epcot. We had a great time and found that spending time at parks such as these with the throngs of other families and long lines is much easier with an 8 year old than a 3 year old, as was the case when we ventured to Disney for the first time. Always the observer of people, I found an amazing variety of folks to watch. And like I tend to do, I found lessons to be learned everywhere I looked. I thought these might be fun to share with you so here you are.

I’ve heard time and again that “today’s generation” is on technology and electronic devices too much these days.  Whether it’s Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Stream Video Gaming, etc., young people of today get the blame.  However, research shows that people of all ages share, read, and post on social media venues frequently.  And if you walk the streets of any U.S. city all the way to downtown Hong Kong, you’ll find many people staring at their phones and not apologizing for it. 

The word “reckon” is most often heard when someone has contemplated a situation and made a decision.  In the Greek language this word is broken down more specifically to mean “to take and inventory, or to draw a conclusion.” 

As human beings, how often to we take inventory of our behavior and draw conclusions based on the desired outcome?  Let’s consider the behavior of people for a moment.

My family and I have recently moved into a different house. For those of you who have done this before, you are quite aware that it is a daunting task.  If packing the boxes wasn’t overwhelming enough, unpacking seems like a nightmare. It is such an exciting time, but one that also requires effort, patience, and a lot of hard work. While amidst this process, I am learning that at times, I lack motivation, especially when faced with a time-consuming process that cannot be completed immediately.  While I was happy to be moving in, I envisioned in my mind how perfect and arranged I wanted every room to be, but found it difficult to prioritize and have the motivation to put thoughts into action. 

During coffee with a friend, I have not seen in a month, we discussed the current state of our lives and that of family and mutual friends. However, throughout the entirely of the 45mins coffee break my friend continuously checked her phone, responded to emails, and complained of how busy she is all of the time. Hence, the reason I have not seen her in over a month. She was obviously frazzled and overwhelmed. I could not help but to feel sad for her. However, she is not alone in her quest to check all of the boxes all of the time.

I sat in a restaurant the other day and overheard a mother speaking harsh words to her elementary age child (10 years old or so).  She said in a rude tone, “you are so stupid!” and not only did it make me sad and feel protective of her child, it made me think about the power of words we speak. 

Last night, my daughter had a friend stay at our house for a sleep over. As I always am when I watch kids interact, I was amused and amazed. They have such a way of engaging with each other that is part genius, part imagination and part sheer silliness. I remember back to when I was a kid and would spend time with my buddies. Everything was unbelievably funny one minute then the next someone's feelings were hurt and some level of momentary drama would ensue. But ammends were made quickly and the fun would resume. As I observed my daughter and her friend, I was reminded of  a number of lessons we adults could do well to learn from kids.

Just take a moment and consider how many “friends” you have? And don’t count the 500 plus social media “friends” you claim. How many can you name? How much time have you spent with them lately?  And how do you know they are “true friends?” This is a question exists in all stages of life: the young, middle aged, and the old.

Most of us, at different times in our life, have struggled with self-esteem issues. The definition of self-esteem is a concept that is extremely subjective, but is vital in our development as a person.  Starting from a young age, we are strongly influenced by others, whether intentionally or unintentionally. As I was doing research the past few weeks for an upcoming event at a local school, I studied some of the facts of bullying and how it can shape children’s self-esteem.  I found that nearly 1 out of 4 children are bullied at their school and these bullying victims are at an increased risk for depression, anxiety, sleep difficulties, and poor school adjustment.  I also found that youth victimized by their peers were 2.4 times more likely to report suicidal ideation and 3.3 times more likely to report a suicide attempt than youth who reported not being bullied.

1. YOU “SHOULD” FORGIVE.

Recently I attended a training about the topic of forgiveness and was prepared to bring back to my office a few wonderful handouts, worksheets, and poems to share with clients.  Boy was I wrong!  I learned much more about forgiveness and concepts of forgiveness than could be written on a worksheet.  For one, I’ve heard many people say that a person “should” forgive those who have hurt them in order to help themselves.  When we hold onto the hurts and resentments towards others, it only causes the person pain that is unwilling to forgive. 

I spent this past weekend in one of my favorite Southern cities, Charleston, SC. I haven't been there in several years and was so excited to be back. I love history and Charleston practically oozes it. From the gorgeous homes to the cobblestone streets to the beautiful waterfront, it's a place all history buffs should visit in their lifetime. I went there to run a half marathon and had a great race on Saturday. The weather was perfect, I felt great, and ran well. As I ran along during the race, I marvelled not only at the amazing architercture and scenery but also the resilience of this city. In the mid 1800's alone, it endured multiple fires, an earthquake and the Civil War.  I thought about the story of Charleston and how it's grown and changed over the last two hundred plus years. It's history is tainted with the terrible atrocity of slavery and the years of struggle for equality and fairness. Yet, it has remained a testament to resilience and rebirth. I see the power of perserverance and opportunity every time I visit. 

Am I ugly? Is a question most of us have asked ourselves at least once?  A few years ago there was a YouTube explosion as teens around the world were filming themselves and asking the opinion of public viewers. Some say it was an attempt to get attention, others say it comes from low self-esteem, and others suggest that it's due to lacking knowledge of what's shareable. After all, today’s social media has made it easy to share everything.