The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

Naughty or Nice? Exploring Realistic Discipline for Parent

Contributed by: Jessica D. Cleveland, M.S., LPC, NCC

It’s that time of year when we talk to our kids a lot about their behavior. We sing the song “You better not pout, you better not cry, because Santa Clause is coming to town, he’s making a list and checking it twice, he’s going to find out whose naughty and nice,” but how often do we encourage good behavior in our children other times during the year.

Growing up one of my father’s favorite sayings was “Pain/disappointment/discomfort builds character and/or humility”. A little background. My father grew up in extreme poverty, served, active duty, in the military for 24 years, and has had a series of health issue resulting from his service in the military, so the man knows a thing or two about discomfort. Uncomfortable situations, failure, and disappointment are all facts of life we will experience. However, what separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls is how we deal and adjust to things going wrong.

During this unprecedented pandemic, we all feel some level of confusion and uncertainty for the near-term future.  As adults, it is difficult to process the entirety of what we as a country are facing, much less explain to our children what is happening. 

On a weekly basis, I meet with parents who struggle to discipline their children effectively. In some cases, they are searching for a diagnosis to explain their child’s inappropriate behavior and in others, they are desperately looking for a way to control their child. While the symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and related disorders can present themselves with negative behaviors, there are some ways to combat these. Parents can modify their children’s behavior with some easy principles and by using one word: CONSISTENCY.

Every week I meet with parents who struggle to discipline their children effectively.  In some cases, they are searching for a diagnosis to explain their child’s inappropriate behavior and in others, they are desperately looking for a way to better parent their child.

As we conclude this years Mother’s Day, I have found myself feeling many different ways regarding this special time of the year.

As a mother and father of young children my husband and I often ponder the questions: How will our children remember us when we’re gone? What will they take with them that helps them become successful in this life? How do we build meaningful relationships with them now that last, thus leaving them with a legacy that impacts their life and the lives of others in a positive way?

As a mother and father of young children my husband and I often ponder the questions: How will our children remember us when we’re gone? What will they take with them that helps them become successful in this life? How do we build meaningful relationships with them now that last, thus leaving them with a legacy that impacts their life and the lives of others in a positive way?

As a mother and father of young children my husband and I often ponder the questions? How will our children remember us when we’re gone? What will they take with them that helps them become successful in this life? How do we build meaningful relationships with them now that last, thus leaving them with a legacy that impacts their life and the lives of others in a positive way?

My husband, daughter and I just returned from a vacation in Florida where we hit up Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios and Epcot. We had a great time and found that spending time at parks such as these with the throngs of other families and long lines is much easier with an 8 year old than a 3 year old, as was the case when we ventured to Disney for the first time. Always the observer of people, I found an amazing variety of folks to watch. And like I tend to do, I found lessons to be learned everywhere I looked. I thought these might be fun to share with you so here you are.

Last night, my daughter had a friend stay at our house for a sleep over. As I always am when I watch kids interact, I was amused and amazed. They have such a way of engaging with each other that is part genius, part imagination and part sheer silliness. I remember back to when I was a kid and would spend time with my buddies. Everything was unbelievably funny one minute then the next someone's feelings were hurt and some level of momentary drama would ensue. But ammends were made quickly and the fun would resume. As I observed my daughter and her friend, I was reminded of  a number of lessons we adults could do well to learn from kids.

I recently attended a leadership training conference where one of the speakers made the statement, “Close minded Leaders, Close Minds.”

Simplify the Holidays

Contributed by Wendy Carlton

The holiday season is officially in full swing. While these months full of holiday spirit can be merry and bright, the holidays can be stressful and overwhelming. There are checklists of things to do and places to see -- light displays, Santa, Elf on the Shelf, and cookie swaps. Sometimes these “helpful resources” can feel like a frequent reminder of all of the things that you aren’t doing for your children and family. Every year gets a little busier, and possibly a little Pinterest-ier...

Do you ever wonder what is the best way to feed your child? It's easy to feel overwhelmed with all the information available around nutrition, but throw in a child and it seems everyone has an opinion.

I sat in a restaurant the other day and overheard a mother speaking harsh words to her elementary age child (10 years old or so).  She said in a rude tone, “you are so stupid!” and not only did it make me sad and feel protective of her child, it made me think about the power of words we speak.