The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

By: Dana Hampson, LPC-S, BCC

Each January, Runner’s World magazine (of which I am a subscriber) puts out their annual New Year, New You edition to kick the year off right. It’s chock full of articles and advice meant to motivate and inspire would-be runners to run and for experienced runners to take it to the next level, whatever that might be for each person. I like reading it. Sometimes I find something new and interesting. Since I’ve been running for over a decade now, most of the stuff I already know but it’s a good refresher. What it really does for me is encourages thought about what I’d like to do better as a runner, how I can improve in the next year, what I’ve done up until this point and what’s still on my bucket list to accomplish in the future.

The problem with the title of this and many more magazines and with New Year’s Resolutions in general is we often put off until January 1 what we have needed to do for a long time, like January 1 is some magical day, and then set such lofty and vague goals that by January 15…January 31 if we’re lucky…we have completely fallen off the resolution bandwagon.

What to do about this problem that plagues so many of us? Just go to the gym on January 1 then go back on January 31 to see New Year’s Resolutions fizzle out. I think the solution is don’t wait until January 1 to make the changes we need to make. If you find yourself thinking that you’ll just wait and get started on 1/1, ask yourself why. What’s the hold up? If it’s important to do, what’s the point in waiting? How about you start today? But first, you need to think of what it is you want to do. Having a vision for where we want to go to make improvements in our lives what can help us stay motivated and on course or to get back on course when we waver. If I don’t know the “why” behind what I do, it’s hard, if not impossible, to stay committed to it.

So, how about this year, you decide now, whatever day you read this, to do something different, to work towards an improvement in your life, to make some positive change and you go ahead and start? Take the first step towards being the YOU that you really want to be. In Alcoholics Anonymous, many of the members say they were “sick and tired of being sick and tired”. How many people, who aren’t even struggling with drug or alcohol addiction, would say they feel this way, too? What if, we just decided we wanted to be better so we set our mind to it today?

And, what if, in the process of committing to be the best me, I came up with “resolutions” that were creative and fun and I felt inspired to follow through? Or that because of a solid “why” (aka vision/purpose) I realize that I DESERVE to be happier, healthier, more peaceful…whatever it is that I know will enable me to be a great me, which in turn makes me great towards others?

Some ideas…

1. Prioritize the relationship with your spouse/partner. Go on a date once a month and not talk about the kids the whole time. Spend time re-getting to know each other. Talk about the fun kind of stuff you used to talk about when you first started dating. Dress up, flirt with each other, be silly, and talk. Yes, that means put your phone down and make eye contact! Your relationship will improve as a result of this new found energy in each other. At least once a quarter, have the kids sleep elsewhere so you can sleep in together. Or, stay at a nice hotel together so you can sleep in and have quality time together. I know, I know…it’s hard to find time. However, we make time for what’s important to us. We really do. Make time for your relationship. Oh yeah…if you still have kids sleeping with you that are no longer infants that co-sleep, stop. Get those kiddos in their own beds. ALL of you need that space.

2. Be mindful. There’s a lot of info about there about being mindful these days. I think this is the direct result of our over-programmed lives and over-stimulated brains. Our bodies and minds yearn for some peace and quiet but being mindful requires that we purposefully slow down and live in the present. Make a point to stop trying to multi-task all the time. When someone’s talking to you, really listen. When you’re eating a meal, really taste it. When you’re reading a book, really read it. We feel worried and anxious when we are trying to do too many things at once and we are thinking about all the things we “have” to do. I’m not saying don’t plan ahead. I’m a planner, I get it. However, don’t lose the joy of the moment always planning for the next one.

3. Declutter. Bet you weren’t expecting this one! But if you know me at all, you know I’m not a fan of clutter. To me, clutter often, if not always, equals some level of chaos. I’ve yet to hear someone with tons of “stuff” say that they were truly happy as a result of all the stuff that surrounds them. Yet what do we do? We continue to accumulate more stuff. I find that clearing unnecessary items out and keeping things organized results in more peace and contentment at home and work. First and foremost- You spend less time looking for things and getting frustrated because you can’t. But equally important is the relaxing atmosphere that an uncluttered and streamlined space creates. If you are dealing with mountains of clutter and stuff at home or work, you don’t have to do it all at once. Commit to clearing an area a week and keeping it clear. Before you know it, you will have the kind of space that you can really enjoy. (Check out the blog- www.becomingminimalist.com - for really cool ideas about how to focus on what’s really important in our lives. Hint…it’s not stuff).

4. Play. With your kids, your spouse/partner, your friends, on your own! Make a point to laugh, be silly and just play. You could have a game night with your kids, do something adventurous on a date night with your spouse/partner, try a new activity with a friend…anything that helps you take yourself less seriously and have fun.

5. Reconnect. I remember as a kid being out with my mom and we’d run into someone she knew and they’d exclaim “I haven’t see you in 20 years!!” , then “Has it really been that long?!”, and “Oh, how time flies!”. They’d talk a bit them promise to do a better job keeping in touch. Maybe they did after that. I’m now at the age that the crazy “I haven’t seen you in 20 years” phenom is happening to me and while we promise to keep in touch, most of the time we don’t. I want to work on this area in my own life because I’m not ready to be at the point that the only time I see people who used to play an active role in my life is when a mutual acquaintance dies and we’re at the funeral together. I never want to be at that point.

6. Take care of yourself. This is where most New Year’s Resolutions begin and quickly come to an end. We vow to exercise more, eat better, get more sleep, stop smoking, drink less. Yes, we should do those things. We’d be more healthy and happy if we did. The problem is we often make our goals too lofty, vague and sweeping and set ourselves up to fail. How about we just start with- I’ll drink 2 bottles of water a day (up from none previously) or I’ll walk around the neighborhood three times a week (when I haven’t walked at all before) or “I will get 7 hours of sleep a night” (up from 5 hours a night in the past). Make smaller, incremental changes and you’re more likely to stick with it then you can increase from there.

 So, my challenge to you is to start now. Think about where you want to make a difference in your life and get going. You don’t have to wait until January 1st to do it. Look at it as an investment in your happiness. Completely worth it.