The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

As much as we try, we cannot be all and do all for everyone all of the time. Rarely saying “no” and putting everyone’s need and feelings above your own can have dastardly consequences. Constant people pleasing can put you on the fast track to burn out and the manifestation of physical symptoms due to stress.

Learning to set boundaries can eliminate stress and resentments towards others. Setting boundaries is not about shutting people out or selfishness. Instead, setting boundaries increases your level of self-preservation. Additionally, boundaries increase the opportunity to engage in activities and interactions that are truly enjoyable versus activities and interactions where participation is purely obligatory.  Below are eight ways setting boundaries can improve your quality of life. 

 

1.Increased self-awareness

In order to set boundaries you need to be able to recognize of your own needs and feelings. This self-exploration will result in an increased level of self-awareness. Being self-aware, creates the blueprint for establishing boundaries. 

 

2.Your relationships will improve

Setting boundaries can create the mental and physical space for you to recharge your batteries. Conversely, when you are completely tapped out you have less energy to devote to friends and family. Boundary setting generates the opportunity to fully engage with loved ones by being an active, present, and willing participant.   

 

3.You will take better care of yourself

Self-care is extremely important, and a concept I often preach to my own clients. Boundaries afford the chance to meet your needs before meeting the needs of others. This concept is consistent with the old adage “you must take care of yourself, before you can adequately take care of others”. If you find difficulty putting yourself first remember what they tell you on an airplane before takeoff- “In the case of an emergency… Secure your mask before help someone else with theirs!” 

 

4.Stress level will decrease 

Difficulty setting boundaries often results in over extending yourself. We’re all guilty of this from time to time, but if feeling overextended is the space in which you often exist, it is time to make a change. Setting boundaries eliminates the risk of overextending yourself as a result you will feel considerably less stressed. Also, setting firm boundaries reduce the risk of feeling like you have disappointed someone or resentment due to feeling unappreciated and/or taken advantage of.  

 

5.Communication will become more clear and concise

When setting a boundary it is best practice to keep explanations short and sweet, but firm. Setting a boundary does not require a lengthy justification. Moreover, you will appear more assertive and confident in your interactions.  

 

6.You will learn how to say “no” and mean it

Repeat after me “No is a complete sentence!” If you cannot or simply do not want to, whatever, you are perfectly justified in saying NO. See, short and sweet!

 

7.You’ll get to do more of what you enjoy

Instead of fulling your time with unfulfilling, time consuming, soul draining “stuff”, you can make time to do all of the things you want to do. Your interest and time is just as important as everyone else’s. Once you set boundaries you will find you have much more time to do what you want to do, whether it’s lying on the couch watching trash TV (my person favorite is the Real Housewives franchise on BRAVO), reading a book, or training for a marathon.  

 

8.You will become more compassionate 

When you show compassion and understanding to yourself, it is so much easier to give the same treatment to others. Furthermore, due to decreased stress, more “me” time, and self-awareness, you will be better equipped to meet the needs of the people who truly matter in your life. 

 

Initially, setting boundaries can be difficult, but the end result is feeling in control of your time and emotional space. If you find yourself needing additional help to learn how to establish appropriate boundaries and improve your quality of life please do not hesitate to contact me at the Balanced Life by calling (256)248-7777 x 105.