The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

Let’s be honest.  We all struggle with comparing ourselves to others.  We compare relationships, accomplishments, physical appearance, intelligence, money—and the list goes on and on.  At times, this comparison leads us to believe that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

We take our own abilities and achievements and see how they measure up to others, without considering the negative impact this behavior has on our emotional well being.

Having the faulty perspective that others lives are better or more successful than our own can cause a variety of issues such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.  We fall captive to an irrational perception of happiness from a third party perspective and consequently, believe that to be truth.  While this comparative, competitive mindset has been around for decades, technology has increased our availability to take part in this behavior of comparison. It used to be virtually impossible to keep up with old classmates, making the 10, 20, 30 year reunions the only point of comparison of how we matched up to each others lives. Now, with the click of a button, on any given day we are able to see what people are doing.  While this is beneficial in connecting and communicating, it proves to be detrimental when comparing. Over time, this behavior can take a toll on your personal confidence, so I would suggest taking a step back and re evaluating your self-worth on your own standards.

Here are just a few ways to overcome “The Grass is Greener” Syndrome and to avoid the trap of constantly comparing yourself to others.

1. Get real.  I love the quote that states, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” Society pressures us to always put our “best face” to the rest of the world, masking our own fears, doubts, and failures. As tempting as it is to post that perfect picture on Facebook even when you’ve been wrestling your toddler all morning or answer “doing good” to the Starbucks barista when you’re really stressed to the max, I would encourage you to be honest. Transparency is beautiful and allows a more honest view of your life.
2. Put healthy blinders on.  I am definitely not suggesting to live in your own little world without seeing others at all, because that is not realistic.  What I would suggest, however, is to be mindful about how much emphasis you place on everyone else’s lives in an attempt to focus most on your own.  Comparison is wasted energy, partly because you are never going to know the full truth about another’s situation, and mainly because you are taking time and effort away from your own pursuit of happiness.
3. If you want your grass to be green, water it. I believe we can all agree that no two human beings are created identical—and that is something miraculous.  We all have our own gifts and talents combined with personality traits that make us uniquely us.  In order for your own grass to stay green, you must uncover your positives and make the most of them. Setting your own goals and expectations instead of those placed by others allows you to become more self-fulfilled in the long run.

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