The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

As a therapist who works with predominately adolescents, I have recently heard this statement in my office:  “I really don’t know who I am or what my purpose is.” 

This comment has mostly been from young adults struggling with the concept of graduating high school or college and moving on to the next chapter of their life. They are worried, confused and questioning their identity and what they may do in the future, all the while feeling a lack of direction in life.  While this lack of purpose may be present in this age range, I also feel as if there are many transitional periods in a person’s life that can be classified as the “in between” stages that present as challenging. During these difficult times, however, is when personal growth occurs and I have seen many clients regain a sense of purpose for their life and have a new outlook on their future.

Whatever stage of life you are in, I would suggest three keys to finding or regaining purpose:

1. Examine your Role

I will start by saying purpose does not merely lie with the way you feel, but more of what you set as priority to become important to you. When you ask yourself the question of “Who am I?”, what are some of the unique roles you take part in? I have found that purpose is often times found through identification with important roles/relationships in a person’s life or with achievement of personal goals set.  While research has proven that psychological purpose declines as humans age, I believe one reason for this is that people who once took on roles as mothers/fathers, spouses, friends, etc. have lost loved ones along the way and feel a disconnect socially of what their role has become. While I certainly am not suggesting that purpose is found through others, I believe social roles can play a big part in experiencing purposeful living.

2. Envision your Future Self

Think back to your first idea of what you wanted to be when you grew up: doctor, lawyer, teacher, etc.  Most often we change from what our initial dream was, but usually, there are some intrinsic qualities we have- helping others, creativity, analytically minded, etc. that help shape our direction.  Determining your positive qualities and skill sets will help you become who you want to be in the future.  In session, I encourage my adolescents to make a list of all the positive qualities they possess and how they will influence them when they go to college. This allows them to recognize their own potential and tap into their intrinsic abilities throughout their pursuit of finding purpose.

3. Allow yourself to evolve.

One thing in life is sure, that change will always come, whether your ready or not. On occasion, you may find a person who knows their purpose from childhood and who sets out on their perfect course of study and spends their whole life doing what they are meant to do.  Personally, this was not my experience, and for those who I have talked with, was not their experience either.   As I have progressed in my career, I feel like my purpose has evolved more and the same can be said about the addition of my role as a mother.  Being open to change and how you adapt can allow you to grow and discover even more purpose. 

Lastly, I will offer some questions for you to ask yourself to uncover times in the past you have experienced purpose and encourage you to apply these in the future:

• - Who was I with?
• - What goals did I set and achieve for myself?
• - What experiences did I most enjoy?
• - What tasks was I performing and did I feel they were useful?
• - What reasons make certain times in my life feel more meaningful?

If you need help finding meaning or in creating a purposeful life, contact me at Lindsey@thebalancedlifellc.com or at 256-258-7777 x 104.