The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

Most of us have experienced some type of loss in our lives, whether it be the death of a loved one, a miscarriage, or the absence of a significant relationship.

The grief of loss can be overwhelming, but especially so during the holiday season. At times, the fun and festivities of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year can be overshadowed by the all encompassing sadness and despair that grief includes.  Some of us can feel pressured to “act happy” during this time frame, but all of us have felt unhappy or unsettled during the holidays.  I will offer some validation in saying that there should be no guilt in feeling the way you feel, but also would encourage you to seek out help if needed to get you through this “supposed to be” magical season. 

Here are some suggestions to help you make the most of your holidays despite experiencing loss:

1. Stay busy. Even though grief can be emotionally exhausting, it’s better to keep moving and not give in to laziness. It can feel good momentarily to sit and watch movies all day long, but it is more helpful long term to get out and do something that you enjoy. Commit yourself to leaving the house once a day and planning a bigger outing once a week to attempt to enjoy little moments and not dwell on what you feel is missing.
2. Create new traditions. Some traditions that we have historically done in the past to can seem extremely comforting, or extremely painful when we have lost someone close to us.  If cooking Grandma’ s favorite dish helps you hold on to her memory, I would encourage you to continue to do so. However, if it is more upsetting than helpful, this may be a perfect time to re-evaluate traditions and perhaps replace them with new, more useful memories to be made.
3. Practice good self-care. This is a topic I regularly write on and I think it is for good reason.  When you are hurting, you tend to cling to negative habits that inevitably worsen the pain in the long run such as binge eating or not getting enough sleep.  But, using good self-care is being intentional and conscious about taking care of yourself.  Some positive activities to try are to take a long walk in nature, treat yourself to a nice meal, or call a supportive friend or family member.
4. Don’t be afraid to reminisce.  Having memories of loved ones after they have passed can be a source of comfort and something to always cherish.  When around supportive family, discussing the past can be helpful to appreciating the time spent with someone.  While our minds can be flooded with sadness when reminiscing, I would encourage you to appreciate the memories and look to how they help shape you as a person, now and for in the future.

 If you are struggling with grief this holiday season and need to talk to someone, call Lindsey at (256) 258-7777 ext. 104 or email at lindsey@thebalancedlifellc.com