The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

Ah, it’s that time again…New Year’s Resolutions! It seems most of us can be divided into two camps- those who have given up on even setting any resolutions each year, because, well, we often don’t stick to them beyond January 15^th or so. And the other camp- those who continue to ambitiously establish a slew of goals for the new year that go to the way side by January 15, even despite our good intentions.

What if we did this a little differently this year and that shift helped us actually stick to our resolutions and have those little wins that add up to big successes?

Recently, we shared a meme on our Facebook page that I loved. It said, “Note to self-you are not too old and it’s not too late”. What a great sentiment! Oftentimes I hear people using both of these reasons (i.e. excuses) to not make changes. They feel disheartened that they waited this long to realize what they needed to do differently and rather than dig deep and take the steps to change, they resign themselves to it being just the way it is. But, as long as you have breath in your body, it’s not too late. And honestly, you’re never too old to change. You can teach an old dog new tricks. That old dog might be stubborn and set in his ways, but he can still learn and change. The rationale of being too old and/or it being too late to change causes the first camp of resolutioners to not even set goals. “Why bother?” they muse. “It’s been this way for so long, no amount of effort is going to change anything.” When I hear a sentiment such as this, I hear fear. It’s interesting to point this out to clients because I usually get the response “I’m not afraid” on a varied spectrum, from confusion to anger that I’d suggest they are afraid. But that really is what it boils down to. If I see an opportunity for change, and I can reasonably assume that it could provide some improvement in my life, then not acting is because I’m afraid. I fear failure, I fear success, I fear being able to sustain the change, I fear what others will think. I fear that I’m not worth it. I fear that I will be disappointed. The list goes on and on. Fear is often at the root of inaction and rather than face the fear, we make excuses like “I’m too old” or “It’s too late” or something along those lines to justify our resistance to change.

However, when we decide we no longer want to be afraid and we face those defeating thoughts that drive the fear, we are now in a unique position to make things happen in our lives. When we believe we have the capacity for success and we have the strength to withstand failure, our lives start to change. When my husband and I decided to start The Balanced Life, we had zero experience with starting or owning a business. Were we scared? You betcha. Did we let that fear keep us from acting? Absolutely not. One mindset that really helped in those early days when I had no idea if this big idea was going to work and I was sitting in our home office with no clients and no income, was thinking about worst case scenario. That might sound strange, but it really helped. I thought “What’s the worst thing that could happen if this business doesn’t get off the ground or fails once we start?”. I knew that we wouldn’t die. So, I was able to rule out the absolute worst-case scenario, fortunately. But then what? Well, we might go bankrupt. We might lose our home. We might have to live in an efficiency apartment. I might have to relive my college years waiting tables. So, not what I wanted to happen, but all survivable scenarios. But on the other hand, the opportunity for so much success was right there in front of us: the chance to be my own boss and work with clients who were motivated and engaged in their treatment. It was a potential dream come true. And it was scary. And amazing. And overwhelming all wrapped up in one business ownership package. We faced that fear head on and it’s been the best thing I’ve ever done in my 20 years as a therapist. If we had said “it’s too late” or “we’re too old” or given any other fear-laden excuse, we would have missed out on the opportunity of a life-time.

So, my challenge to you is this: spend some time going into this new year thinking about what you want to do and haven’t done. Then think about why. Inside that “why” is probably a little, or a lot of, fear. If you get really honest with yourself, you’ll see it. Once you acknowledge that you’re afraid, don’t beat yourself up about it. The fear comes from a place of self-protection and is hard-wired into our DNA. But, most change in life isn’t a life or death situation and our sense of fear for survival isn’t serving us in these cases. So, for 2019, commit to being brave. Face those things that you wish to change but have been afraid to confront head on. Be clear about the reason you want to change so that you can focus on that “why” when you have days that are hard. Have a vision for how your life would look if you took that first college class, or sent out your resume, or asked that person out on a date. You are young enough and there is enough time for you to be the best version of yourself and living the life of purpose and peace that you desire.

We are always here for you when you’re ready for change. Contact us at info@thebalancedlifellc.com or 256.258.7777 to get started. Here’s to a bold and brave 2019!