The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

I received a random email one morning last week called “Trivia Daily”. I have no idea how this landed in my in-box or how I got on their email list. Normally I would delete such an email and never look back and I might even delete myself from their email list. But this particular morning I opened and read the email.

Who doesn’t love a trivia question now and then, right? The question was, “What is the most common New Year’s Resolution?” Four options were given: learn something new, save more money, get in shape, advance career. What’s your answer? If you answered, “get in shape” as the number one new year’s resolution, you are correct!

According to data from Nielson Analytics, finding love and saving more money were numbers two and three on a list of top resolutions after losing weight/ getting in shape as number one. How long does a resolution last, anyway? One bit of research says only 64% last longer than the first month and only 46% last longer than six months. Only 14% of people over the age of 50 achieve their goal and 39% of those in their 20’s. I found that last percentage interesting since I am in the “50 and over” category and actually do much better achieving goals now than in my 20’s.

How do we defy the odds and make and keep our New Year’s Resolutions? It’s such a cliché now that many people stopped making resolutions at the turn of the new year or may have failed many times in the past and have given up. Alas, it is possible to make and keep those resolutions, achieve your big goals and overall, improve your physical, mental, and emotional health and well being.

1. First, identify the problem and ask yourself this question: “If I went to sleep tonight and woke up in the morning and all my problems were gone, what would my day and my life be like?” This may help identify the bigger overarching problems.

2. If you are bored with the same old humdrum resolutions, try being creative. For example, take someone you disagree with to lunch, schedule weekly time to be bored, become pen pals with someone in prison, talk to a stranger every week, or celebrate one of your failures with friends. (ideas taken from “ideas.ted.com” by Julia Fawal)

3. Next, identify the specific problems. Is it: physical health (diet, exercise, sleep, chronic pain, other health problem, etc.), mental health (i.e. anxiety, fear, worry, depression, sadness, numbness, etc.), emotional health (i.e. mood swings, lack of sleep disturbing emotion regulation, thinking errors triggering negative emotions, etc.). Is it financial health (i.e. high debt, lack of retirement fund, overspending, too tight with money, etc.) or something else (i.e. finding love, keeping love, loneliness, settling for “less than”, etc.)?

4. Break the big problems down into smaller steps that are attainable. It has been my experience in life that I have to be bought into something in order for change to happen. You might even say I have to be more uncomfortable with status quo and more comfortable with the motion of change before taking action. Many counseling clients, for example, have experienced symptoms of anxiety, such as panic, excessive worry, and fear. Until they seek help for decreasing anxiety, the symptoms continue and get worse. Taking the step of Googling counselors might be the first step, making the call is the next, attending the appointment is the next, and so on. Breaking the big step down into smaller ones helps.

5. Set a time frame as to when the goals will be met. If I know I want to Google counselors and make the call (or email a counselor since calling may be scary at first), I may set a deadline of one day to get that done. What a sense of accomplishment when the goal is met!

6. Ask for help when needed. If I know I need to do something, but haven’t yet, I may need to ask for help to get it done. If I handle most of my own problems effectively, it’s easy to put off calling a counselor. However, in those moments of high levels of anxiety, I want a counselor to be on speed dial. Then the anxiety subsides and I never make the call. If that is a pattern that sounds familiar, I recommend asking for help from a spouse, loved one, trusted friend, to help you make the call.

7. Make the new goal a part of your every day routine. Many people don’t maintain their efforts after they see results, according to a Florida State University professor. This sounds like the opposite of what we would expect, but it tells me that we have to get the new routine in our heads as part of our new normal, not as a temporary change.

8. Track your progress. If you’re like me, journaling is sometimes a chore and when I see “track your progress,” I think of long journal entries that feel cumbersome. I’ve learned over time that tracking progress can be a simple paragraph or couple of sentences or even an app on your phone that doesn’t require a lot of effort. The idea is that you can see your progress over time.

I hope you find this blog post helpful in setting, reaching, and keeping your goals active and useful, as well as folding them into your routine. If you need help in getting started or keeping them going, especially in the area of mental and emotional health, please give us a call at The Balanced Life, LLC at (256) 258-7777, and we will gladly get you scheduled to help you move in the right direction. Here’s to a healthier and joyful 2019!