The Family Meeting
- by Wendy Carlton, M.Ed., LPC, NCC
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in Family

Creating peace and harmony within the family system seems to be a challenge that many families deal with on a daily basis. What if there was something that would help make it more harmonious and stable? Making time for our families may be difficult, but it’s necessary to be successful.
Family meetings build a foundation for long term benefits for your family. Hosting a weekly family meeting reminds your child they are loved and also an intricate member of something greater than themselves. Use these meetings throughout the year to connect, solve problems together, develop a vision for your family, and make plans. Family meetings can be altered and used throughout the years.
How to Host a Successful Family Meeting
1. Start now – Whether you have a preschool child or a teenager, take time to begin family meetings and involve all family members. Soon, the family meetings will just become something that your family does each week.
2. Schedule a time each week for your Family Meeting – This will help ensure you continue with this important exercise on a regular basis. You can take minutes of the meeting if you want to keep track of the issues, solutions, and plans you discussed with your family.
3. Express gratitude – Take turns having each family member express gratitude for something in general, thank each family member for something specific, or pay a compliment to each family member. You can alternate each week between thankfulness and compliments. Encourage one another, especially if one of your family members is going through a tough time. Parents, keep in mind that younger children may have some difficulty in giving compliments. It will take time by consistent modeling by the parents.
4. Discuss issues – Take turns discussing any concerns or problems any family member may be experiencing. These issues can be related to family dynamics, home responsibilities, personal challenges, or related to problems at school. Use this time during the meeting to discuss ways to solve the problems. Parents, listen and reflect on the feelings your child has expressed with their concern. Do not rush to solve your child’s problem. After your child(ren) have come up with some ideas, then feel free to suggest some solutions as well. Come up with a plan to address these problems as a family.
You can also use this time to talk about discipline issues. Reflect your feelings on a situation that is causing stress or frustration or disappointment. By involving your child in discipline decisions, it creates mutual respect, collaboration, and harmony.
Remember that problems won’t be solved over night, but now you have a starting point for discussion.
5. Discuss future plans – Talk about anything you have on the agenda in the next week or two such as trips you’ll take, people who are coming to visit, big events your family is involved in, etc. Also, ask each other what they would like to see happen in the next week or two. Take this time to discuss tasks that need to be completed. Children feel more secure by knowing what’s coming up. Plus, it provides a good opportunity for the adults in the family to get organized!
For added organization, you can keep a family calendar and pull it out at this time to take notes. Keep it somewhere that everyone in the family can see it.
6. Wrap it up and end it sweet – Review what was discussed and the plans that were made. Keep it simple and short. Make sure to end the meeting on a positive note. There are many ways to do this. Some families play a game, have a sundae bar, or do something simple like a family cheer or high fives. However you choose to close your Family Meeting, make it fun!