The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

Simplify the Holidays

Contributed by Wendy Carlton

The holiday season is officially in full swing. While these months full of holiday spirit can be merry and bright, the holidays can be stressful and overwhelming. There are checklists of things to do and places to see -- light displays, Santa, Elf on the Shelf, and cookie swaps. Sometimes these “helpful resources” can feel like a frequent reminder of all of the things that you aren’t doing for your children and family. Every year gets a little busier, and possibly a little Pinterest-ier...

My family and I have had our perfect holiday bubble burst a few times since the season started. On the first occasion, we waited in line with great anticipation to see Santa only to give him the side-eye stare that communicates, “I’m coming nowhere near you, jolly old man. You better read my mind on what I am wanting for Christmas this year.” On another occasion, we were surrounded by beautifully lit displays, holiday music cheerfully playing in the background, and the sweet aroma of toasted marshmallow hot chocolate that filled the air. And then my sweet, beautiful, loving son was struck by a sleepy induced meltdown that left us feeling defeated and frustrated.

And then it was like a light bulb had turned on above my head. Why was I making it so hard on my family? Did we really need the picture perfect photo of Santa and my children? Why was I not (initially) satisfied with the photo where my children were not in coordinated outfits and smiles plastered on their beautiful faces? When had I set such high expectations on myself and family during the holidays?

If any of this situation strikes an emotional chord for you, you are not alone. Bonus: there’s something you can do so you can enjoy the rest of your holiday experience!

Make a list. Write down all of the ideas for holiday fun, seasonal events, and family traditions that you would like to experience this season. Cross them off your list as your do them. Clear expectations simplify your life.

Don’t try to do it all. Pick one or two main events. We all have certain traditional activities that we enjoy. With so many things going on it is hard to know what will be the most meaningful. Take time to evaluate these experiences to see if they are truly important or if they have become just a habit.

Focus on being fully present. It is easy to fall into the trap of constantly thinking about everything you need to get done. Experiences with family and friends drop in priority when this occurs. Make an effort to be full present and in the moment. Put away your phone (texts and emails can wait), turn off the television, and enjoy the conversation and quality time with those you love.

Bring the focus back to what is most important. This varies from family to family. What matters the most to you during the holidays? It might be time with family, religious beliefs, or giving back to the community. Whatever it is that is most important to your family, do not lose sight of it in the midst of this busy season.