The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

As a mother and father of young children my husband and I often ponder the questions: How will our children remember us when we’re gone? What will they take with them that helps them become successful in this life? How do we build meaningful relationships with them now that last, thus leaving them with a legacy that impacts their life and the lives of others in a positive way?

To answer these questions, I’ve put together some practical things to do daily with your children, both young and old, that I’ve come across via advice from parents whom I admire and respect, as well as through vigorous study on the topic of parenting. I hope these help give you vision and hope for your family as you seek to leave a legacy and build a lasting relationship with each one of your children.

Provide consistent and healthy discipline:

Having realistic expectations- (kids are going to act like kids and teens like teenagers)

Know your child’s personality (i.e. withdraw, clown, compromise, fight, deny, or conform)

The entire parent child-relationship depends on perceptive skill (ability to perceive the world through your child’s eyes and reflect understanding even when you disagree with your child)

Know their temperament

Know how they cope with self-doubts and inadequacies

Be present and available to listen, not always ready to lecture or give advice

Set boundaries and follow through with consequences when boundaries are violated

Provide structure and spontaneity:

Don’t reward your children for everything all the time or let them grow to believe that things like “going out to eat” or “getting candy from the grocery isle” etc. are the norm. Have common/realistic expectations daily and occasionally surprise them with what my husband likes to call “special night/day” where we may take them out eat or to a movie or allow them to purchase an item at the store.

Require them to unplug/turn off phones and social media occasionally and connect as a family:

Have a regular family night each week. Pizza night or just some time outdoors doing something as a family unit while talking face to face.

Be patient with styles and trends:

 Set boundaries and guide their steps. Don’t exasperate your children over this issue. You may try giving them an option of wearing “certain” items only certain places. Chances are this trend will fade and the battle over this “certain” item will fade away

Have an open door policy to friends both yours and your children’s friends:

If you want to teach/model for them healthy relationship/social and problem solving dynamics, have your friends over and let their friends come over so you can get to know them and guide them in steps to take when problems arise.

Find alternative ways to communicate with your children:

Using post-it notes, a journal, or some other medium to ask/answer questions about life, their day, their plans, etc. you may possibly get more information form them this way than you will if you just ask.

None of these things are easy and all take some amount of time and effort, but my hope is that in the end all the time, effort, and energy you put into your life, the life of others, and especially your spouse and children will be well worth it. If you would like more parenting tips or need to build parenting skills, you may contact me at 256-258-7777 ext. 103.

Jessica D. Cleveland M.S., LPC-S, NCC

“Your legacy is a book about building meaningful faith in children and passing it along to future generations”- Dr. James Dobson