The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

In case you haven’t noticed, back to school this fall looks a lot different than it has in typical years.

Much of the excitement of a new school year seems toned down given the current circumstances in the world around us. Many adjustments are being made to accommodate kids safely that are returning to in-person school, and kids who are going virtual are preparing for a much more structured plan than what was in place as we scrambled into quarantine in the spring.

I admit that all the swirling uncertainty about school was stressful for me…and I’m trained to deal effectively with stress! My husband and I, like many parents, were required to make a decision between two not great options. That’s always fun, isn’t it?! It represents the quandary we often find ourselves in throughout life- where a decision needs to be made, but we just don’t like our options! That doesn’t mean that a decision can or should be avoided, however. Sometimes we decide based on what’s the less bad option and while that doesn’t feel great, it’s necessary.  In the end, the decision was made for us by our school system and our daughter will be going to school virtually. So, we are preparing for that new journey that begins next week.

Whether or not your child is going back to school virtually or in person, here are some tips to help this school year get off on the right foot.

1. Be aware of your own attitude- Our kids really cue off of us. So, if we are feeling frustrated, stressed, overwhelmed, etc., they do pick up on this. Even little kids. Don’t think they aren’t noticing what’s going on with you and taking their cues for how to respond to all these changes, because they are. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have feelings…of course you will. This is a great time to talk with your kids about feelings and how to express them in a healthy way. Letting your kids know that you are feeling overwhelmed, and that’s ok, as well as what you’re doing to deal with the feeling effectively is a wonderful teaching opportunity! But this does require that you are in tune with what’s going on internally so you can manage and talk about your own feelings appropriately.

2. Establish a consistent schedule right off the bat- Kids need structure and many have not had much for the last few months. So, adjusting to a new routine with school resuming may take a little time. Be patient and flexible. If you kids are doing virtual school, it may take a little longer to develop a routine as you see how the classes are going to be managed and what the expectations for your kids are. If your kids are going virtually, it’s still very important that they have a regular wake up time, bedtime, meals, outdoor time, breaks and schoolwork, even though they are at home. Again, this should be flexible enough to allow for changes that need to be made but structured so that your kids know what’s expected of them and helps keep them organized and focused. I recommend posting a schedule somewhere prominent in your house so everyone is aware and on the same page. For older elementary, middle and high school kids, encouraging them to take responsibility for their schedule and work, and checking in rather than hovering, will help them gain important skills in managing themselves.

3. Be patient with the teachers- I’ve watched all the panic and frustration from parents on various online forums as the schools post their plans, change their plans, and don’t have answers to all the questions. There are lots of opinions out there about what’s the “right” thing to do with school this fall. As the child of two teachers, grandparents who were teachers and an aunt and uncle who were, I have the utmost respect for those who choose to educate our children. It is a hard and largely thankless job. I can’t imagine being a teacher right now. Seriously. My heart goes out to all the teachers and administrators who are trying to make this work in the midst of the most stressed out, fearful and out of sorts people have collectively been in a long time. I appreciate what they are trying to do, even if I don’t always agree. See item #1 above in reference to your kids cuing off of you. If you complain about the school, the work, the format, the schedule, the principal, the communication, the requirements…you get my drift…within ear shot of your kid, guess what your kid is going do? Yep…it’s not a positive response. So, complain…but to an adult…away from your kids…and then take a deep breath and problem-solve. How can you be part of the solution? How can you accept that this is what it is and we need to make the most of it? How can you communicate assertively so that you ensure you’re on the same page with your child’s teachers and administration? Don’t be a part of the problem.

4. Limit screen time- Yeah, I said it. I know that being in school virtually requires a lot of screen time. Hence, the vast importance of limiting it otherwise. Y’all….I shudder to think of how much screen time kids have had since March. I know my kid has had too much. We’ve all had to do what we’ve had to do to get by. But now that school’s starting, let’s commit to that regular schedule that keeps kids active and engaged in life and not entirely centered around staring at a tv, computer, tablet, or phone and hours and hours of being sedentary. There is so much research out there about the potential dangers to kids psychological, emotional, social, physical and academic development if their brains are exposed to too much time viewing a screen and their bodies are sedentary. Balance that out by having them take breaks, incorporating lots of movement into their day, doing activities outside, etc. Think outside the box to get them engaged in other activities that challenge and educate them in a non-electronic way!

5. Practice lots of self-care- It’s been A LOT since March. So much 2020 packed into five months. It may be a lot for a while and that stinks. It really does. We are all grieving life pre-pandemic. BUT….we do still have some control. We get to choose how we approach life as it is now. We get to make decisions each day about our mindset and how we want to live while things are unpredictable. We can decide to use this time to take better care of ourselves. And, as our kids return to a school routine, it’s extra important that we are keeping ourselves mentally and physically healthy so we can provide them the love and support they need to continue to navigate this world that really doesn’t make any sense to them. Don’t have time for self-care, you say? Yes, you do. Make time. You will be a happier, more patient, less stressed parent if you do.

I seriously could go on and on. But here’s the bottom line, parents. You are awesome and you’re going to make this work. Do it with as much positivity as you can. Cut yourself a break that it’s not perfect. Be grateful that your kid is getting educated. And if you need us, call or email- 256.258.7777 or info@thebalancedlifellc.com. We’re here to help.