The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

“I’m worried about my kid and don’t know how to help them” is a statement I hear often in my office. Concerned parents bring their teens in for counseling because they’ve noticed behavioral changes and know their child is hurting, but often feel lost in how to help them.

The most common concern I see in teenage clients is anxiety. Anxiety is the feeling of worry, dread, or apprehension that something bad is going to happen or that you can’t cope with a situation.  It’s a common and natural part of life and can even be helpful in some situations, but what happens when anxiety becomes overwhelming and debilitating in teens?

The National Institute of Health (NIH) estimates that around 31.9% of adolescents suffer from an anxiety disorder. Of adolescents with any anxiety disorder, 38% are female, 26.1% are male, and 8.3% are considered to have severe impairment. Data from the same report shows the prevalence of anxiety in adults to be 19.1% and 9.4% in children ages 2-12. So what is happening during the teenage years to warrant such a significant increase?

Kids have different worries and vulnerabilities during each stage of development. Younger children tend to worry about more external things – animals, bugs, darkness, monsters, etc. As we progress into our teen years the worries become more internalized. They shift to how we perform at school and sports, how others perceive us, and changes in our bodies. The drive for perfection and acceptance takes center stage during these years, and can present differently than in young childhood.

Common symptoms include:

• Frequent headaches or stomach aches, with no medical reason
• Sudden changes in eating habits
• Becomes restless, fidgety, hyperactive, or distracted (but doesn’t necessarily have ADHD)
• Difficulty falling or staying asleep
• Cries often
• Becomes cranky or angry for no clear reason
• Fear of making even minor mistakes
• Doubts their skills and abilities
• Difficulty handling any criticism, no matter how constructive
• Panic attacks (or is afraid of having panic attacks)
• Pressing fears or phobias
• Nightmares about losing a parent or loved one
• Obsessive thoughts or worries about bad things happening or upsetting topics
• Refuses to go to school or do schoolwork
• Avoids social situations
• Becomes emotional or angry when separating from family or loved ones
• Starts withdrawing from activities
• Constantly seeks approval from parents, teachers, and friends
• Compulsive behaviors, like frequent handwashing or arranging things

Learning to manage anxiety is an important life skill and there are many ways that parents can support their teens using problem-focused and emotion-focused coping. Taking direct action to deal with a specific and solvable problem is great for reducing stress. The prefrontal cortex is the last part of the brain to fully develop (usually around age 25) and is responsible for reasoning and problem solving. Because of this, teens often struggle with taking actionable steps to manage a problem. Parents can help by assisting their teen in identifying parts of the problem and helping them break it down into manageable chunks, and addressing them one step at a time.

It’s also important for parents to encourage their teen to talk about their anxiety and to actively listen to their concerns. Model deep breathing and relaxation practices to help them learn to regulate their nervous system. Help your child reframe negative thoughts into positive self-talk and encourage creative expression such as journaling and art.

Being a teenager (and parenting one!) is stressful for many reasons. I encourage you to reach out to us here at The Balanced Life to see how counseling can benefit you and your teen. Contact us at info@thebalancedlifellc.com or (256) 258-7777 for more information.