When the Phases of Life Send You Running for Cover
- by Holly Walker, LPC
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in General

For the first time in many years, we did not have a child starting school on the first day of school in our district because our youngest graduated in May. This was a strange feeling for me and one that brought many emotions, from excitement for the next phase and a little sadness because this phase is over. I tend to be sentimental and nostalgic by nature and enjoy reflecting on the phases of life and how the passage of time brings change and today, I will share some of those thoughts with you.
What are the “phases of life” anyway? I see them as the milestones of life that a person goes through and have listed them here: baby, childhood, adolescence, young adult, middle adult, and older adult. And I would also list the milestones and stages a person goes through: first steps, first day of kindergarten, making the team (or getting cut), high school graduation, college, marriage, sometimes divorce, having a baby, home buying, and caring for elderly parents, to name a few. As time passes, we ask ourselves how we got here, how this new phase came upon us, and how does time pass so quickly?
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who experiences these feelings of shock and awe at each new phase as I enter the new phase and reflect on the old ones. If you have difficulty moving from one phase to the next, whatever that phase is- because let’s face it, some phases are better than others- please consider the following thoughts.
- The passage of time is constant. This may or may not bring you comfort, but it is true. Time is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and although it seems to go faster as we get older (and there’s a theory about why that is), it is the same as when we were a child. Try and experience the moment as each moment enters your life and this may bring satisfaction to you.
- Remember that each new phase brings promise. Although watching your child get married may be bittersweet, I encourage you to focus on the positive and promise this new phase brings. While aging is not something our culture particularly supports as happy, it can be amazing experiencing life as a person moves from one phase to another.
- Know that we are all in the cycle of life. Life is not always happy and sometimes feels rather grim, but knowing the sad and grim times are balanced with happy and meaningful moments can bring joy and satisfaction.
- Pass on family traditions. Whether it be a special skill, holiday activities and traditions, a special vacation spot, or daily routine such as cooking, passing on family traditions is an important part of the phases of life.
- Give meaning to life. We want to know that what we do matters. I encourage you to make a list of what brings your life meaning and this could be anything from “be honest” to “sing every day” to “give to others”, etc., and then do that thing.
If you are struggling transitioning from one phase of life to another (new marriage, new baby, challenging adolescent, caring for elderly parents, etc.) , please call us at The Balanced Life, LLC at (256) 258-7777. We are here to help.