The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

Most of the time, I feel very grounded and centered. I take things in stride. I feel my emotions but I don’t tend to get carried away by them. I don’t sweat the small stuff. But, one day recently, I wasn’t able to do this.

I recognize that what I see on tv and social media is biased, agenda-driven and frequently inaccurate and as a result tend to be able to keep things in perspective. I feel sad about the state of affairs in our world or angered at yet one more unnecessary tragedy that happens, but then we are swept away into the next big news story or distracted by our own lives, that I just keep on keeping on.

Shortly after the recent Dallas shootings (that followed shortly after the Orlando shootings, that followed too many to count senseless world wide tragedies), I got up one morning, early, like I always do, to have some quiet time on the back porch…just me and my coffee. But I made a critical mistake. For some reason, I checked my phone first thing and was immediately made aware of what had happened in Dallas and then saw the onslaught of public (Facebook) opinion about it. Angry words and pictures being slung left and right. I numbly made my coffee and wandered out to the porch where I sat, not enjoying my time like I usually do, feeling increasingly sad about the condition of the world we live in. I also felt overwhelmingly guilty for having brought a child into this world full of anger, pain, and hate. A little while later, my husband joined me on the porch. I had been sitting long enough to feel a build-up of negative emotions that his presence provided the catalyst for its release. I began to sob and I cried until I didn’t have a tear left in my body. I cried for those who had died tragically, for the families who had lost their loved one, for our country. My husband simply sat quietly next to me with his arm around my shoulders until I finished.

I needed to feel those emotions. My sadness, fear and anger were not easy to experience but they were telling me something. I needed to slow down, to change some things in my life. Once I collected myself, I went about my day but it was a tough day. I didn’t feel happy but I did spend time reflecting on what I call my “meltdown”. That reflection gave me some insight that I was able to use. When I feel down, and we all do from time to time, I want to take what I know to make things better. I choose not to stay down for long.

As I contemplated what to DO, the saying commonly attributed to Mahatma Gandhi- Be the change you wish to see in the world- kept playing in my head. Maybe I can’t affect change on a macro level. But, I do have the power to change on the micro level- myself. I can make sure that I am being the best me. I can be kind and fair and act with integrity. I can treat others the way I want to be treated.  What if, simply by living according to a strong moral and ethical code, I affect change? If someone’s day is improved because of a positive interaction with me, that counts. If I raise my child to be strong, capable, happy person, that counts. If in my work as a therapist, I assist my clients with finding purpose and peace so their lives are being lived to the fullest, that counts.

We are not powerless to affect change. Even as one individual in the vast sea of people that make up our world, I CAN do something. I MUST not blindly stumble through my life failing to make a daily, conscious effort to do good and improve our world. 

I found the following on a blog by an executive coach named Lolly Daskal and wanted to share it:

Let your every moment be an example of what you teach and counsel.

Let your every action be a reflection of your beliefs.

Let your every word be reflective of your own thoughts.

The best leaders the world has ever known are the reformers who were accountable and responsible for their own change.

The commitment for change has no days off, does not allow for excuses, does not allow for pardons.

It’s a true commitment—a commitment to lead with heart to add value to the world.

If you’re ready to be the change, give us a call (256.258.7777) or send an email to info@thebalancedlifellc.com. There’s no better time than the present to get your life going in the direction you desire.