The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

Its spring! The world has begun its renewal process—the birds are coming back, the flowers will start to blossom, and you will be met with endless opportunities.

Opportunities to what? you say. I will reply by simply saying—to be you, the real you, without the tethers and constraints of musts, shoulds and oughts.

Lately, I have been preoccupied with the notion of positive thinking and what good can come from it. I’ve heard all the sayings—be in the moment, be who you want, even YOLO! But those ideas are too big for me, an anxiety fueled planner, to consider-- let alone put into practice. I mean really, how can I enjoy my trip if I haven’t found the perfect place to stay and the must see things to do in the area. I did not make it through all those years of school without learning the beauty of a well laid plan. Anxiety can be a powerful motivator. But in my quest to be more in the now, I have come across a few ideas that I can put into practice without driving myself into a panic. It is my hope that maybe you will be able to as well.

1. Focus on today. I know. That sounds completely unrealistic for a planner, but truthfully I don’t mean that all planning should stop. Your child’s birthday is coming and so is the party—whether you spend the wee hours of the night planning and overthinking or in a nice peaceful sleep—it will come. Thinking about the birthday party—today I can pick a location, tomorrow, after a good night’s sleep, I will pick a theme. If the kids don’t care, I can pick what I want and if they do—they can pick the theme themselves. I’ll just do my best to make it work out.

2. Find the upside. No, I didn’t just go Pollyanna on you, but circumstances force us into action. Some of those actions are the ones we would not have taken otherwise. See the benefit in the action rather than focusing on the circumstance that got you there. When a person can tell me that their home burning down was ultimately for the best, that it the absolute essence of finding the upside.

3. Do it your way. Be careful with this one. When I say your way, I mean a way that not only works for you, but more importantly it works. I learned a long time ago, through the fallacy of I work better under pressure, that, in fact, I did not. I also remember my first child and being surrounded by mothers with years of wisdom and several children and feeling clueless. I remember being told how to feed, change and when to hold my new screaming bundle. I tried to follow directions until I realized that those directions, though delivered out of love and concern, did not address who I wanted to be as a mother. They backed off, my son lived, and I became comfortable in my own mommy-skin.

4. Say no. In general, I am not a people pleaser. As with anyone, there are certain people whom, I am sure, are aware that I would give my liver for (but not my right arm, I am right handed). Even those people need to know that I hang up my cape from time to time and focus on me. I might say no because to commit to one more thing would throw me off balance. I might say no because I realize that I am frequently getting tasked with the same job; even though they should know how to make that work by now. I might say no because I want to. My reason being none other than I sincerely want to binge watch the last season of How to Get Away with Murder (Viola Davis is AMAZING!). Despite the perception that I am the best person for this task, my need to relax and recharge is just as important.

5. Take a minute. When it comes to being in the moment, as weird as this may sound, look around. On the porch drinking your cup of coffee, look at the lawn, the sky and the birds flying overhead. On your sofa, listen to the quiet of the room that you are in and inhale the lavender scented candle you lit to make the place smell nice and to help you relax. Feel your butt in the seat and let it support you. Think about how, in that moment, you are doing EXACTLY what you want to do.

If you need guidance on being able to relax and enjoy life, we're here to help. Give us a call today at 256.258.7777!