The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

The month of October is ushered in by cheerful scarecrows, colorful foliage, and pumpkin spice everything! Wreaths and mums in shades of burnt orange, red, and goldenrod decorate porches festively. But there is another symbol and one other significant color that are synonymous with October: bright pink and the breast cancer awareness ribbon.

As we joyfully welcome cooler weather and get out our sweaters, those who have been affected by breast cancer will view this month very differently.

When I was 13 years old, my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer. My grandmother was my soulmate, and the fear and disbelief that consumed me and our entire family when she was diagnosed was overwhelming. I remember being unable to write the word “cancer” in my diary, as though if I put it down in ink, it was permanent. But, like with every challenge in her life, my grandmother faced breast cancer with determination and bravery. This was a woman who lived through the Great Depression during her childhood, lost two siblings to now easily curable diseases, lost her husband to a massive heart attack tragically in the middle of their lives together, and whose resilience inspired many.

My grandmother had a mantra that allowed her to face obstacles resolutely. She very often said, “We cannot always choose what happens to us in this life, but was can always choose how we respond to what happens.” She lived by this motto, and approached breast cancer with the attitude that while she did not choose the disease, but she could choose how she would respond to its presence in her life. Her strength was contagious. She approached chemotherapy, radiation, hair loss, weakness, nausea, insomnia, and her entire course of treatment with grace. She chose her attitude, her response, her experience.

Every October, I see football players wearing pink cleats, 5K’s raising money for breast cancer research, and hot pink merchandise everywhere. I think of the people who are grieving the loss of a mother, sister aunt, or friend who died of breast cancer. I think of the survivors rebuilding their lives after suffering through treatment and entering remission. I think of the doctors and scientists who have devoted their lives to researching a cure for this disease. But most of all, I think of my grandmother.

My grandmother had ten more years of life between her breast cancer diagnosis and her death in 2009. I firmly believe that her attitude and mindset made a difference in how she healed. She did not give up emotionally when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She felt her feelings, and ultimately decided that she chose to fight with determination in hopes of overcoming the disease. I am so grateful for her wisdom and her example.

No matter what I am facing, I try to embody her mantra. I often cannot choose what happens in my life, but I have a choice as to how I respond. When something difficult occurs, I can choose pessimism, negativity, and catastrophizing. Or, I can choose to approach the obstacle with persistence, grit, and problem solving. So, in loving memory of my grandmother and in honor of breast cancer awareness month, I invite each of you to adopt this mindset. You CAN control how you respond to every situation, even the most unexpected ones. You DO have healthy control, and it lies within your attitude. I hope this brings you some peace and hope going forward.

Michaela Whitehead, LPC is a therapist with The Balanced Life. Her specialty areas of practice include eating disorders, trauma, and complicated grief. She can be reached at MWhitehead@TheBalancedLifeLLC.com or 256-258-7777 x106.