The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

Have you ever wondered what your therapist REALLY thinks about you?  Or what they are writing on their little note pad during sessions?  I’m here today to reveal the secrets, although they aren’t really secrets. 

The truth is, we counselors care about the clients we serve and genuinely want to help a person improve their mental well being.  We spend time outside the session thinking about you, researching and reading professional materials to better prepare for sessions, and we learn from you, too.

I try to listen and understand my client’s world through their eyes the best I can when in session.  That doesn’t mean I always agree or have a solution, but I do my best to listen and understand.  It allows me to be more empathetic and nonjudgmental with that person, more authentic, and less authoritative.

It’s easy for most of us, counselor or not, to have empathy for a person who was abused as a child or bullied as a teen.  It may not be as natural to feel empathy for a family member who has been depressed for three years and doesn’t get better, despite advice and listening to the same things over and over.  Or a friend who needs a lot of support and feels suicidal at times.  Or a coworker who misses a lot of work because of chronic pain issues.  And even the friend who seems to have relationship problems “all the time” and drama follows them wherever they go.  Those are the types of things people have less patience for over time and may have exhausted all of their ability to have empathy and just wish that person would get better.  It is during these times, a client benefits from having a nonjudgmental therapist who can gently nudge the client in the right direction while offering empathy.

I read recently from Irvin Yalom, famous writer and psychiatrist, about a Wizard of Oz reference.  Clients may sometimes think of a therapist as a great and powerful wizard, but when the curtain is pulled back, they see a real human with similar problems as everyone else.  For some clients, I have found this to be helpful to them, to see me, the therapist, as a real person.  For others, they like for their therapist to be on a pedestal and it’s disheartening to learn the truth.  I like to land somewhere in the middle.  Being authentic and sharing of myself as way of being honest and helpful to my client is important, but I don’t make the session about me. 

As a therapist myself and having been to counseling a while back, I found it very interesting to be on the other side of the chair as the client.  I wondered what my therapist was thinking and writing down in our sessions.  Was it her way of keeping track of what was said, her grocery list, or thoughts about the session?  I asked one day and she showed me what she had written and it was her way of keeping track of what was said in the session.  I was glad I asked because my curiosity got in the way of other things I wanted to talk about.

Therapists have different points of view and approaches to doing therapy and some are more open about their personal lives than others.  We are trained to have a nonjudgmental approach and that no matter the circumstance, we do our best to understand the back story and hear things from the client’s point of view.  We will spend time preparing for your session and we write therapy notes after sessions to track progress.  If your therapist says things that make you think, that’s a good thing!  If your therapist points out things you may be doing to harm yourself, it is likely because it’s true and is in your best interests to hear it.  And if you disagree, say something and talk it through.  We care about you and want to help you get your life back on track.

If you would like to schedule an appointment with a therapist at The Balanced Life, LLC, please email us at info@thebalancedlifellc.com or call our office at (256) 258-7777.  We hope to hear from you soon, especially if you’ve been putting it off.  Make today the day you reach out.