The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

Let’s face it; we all anticipate some sense of normalcy sooner rather than later.  However, what does normalcy look like for you? 

I have spoken to many who have a new look on life after enduring a number of challenges this year in addition to the pandemic.  We’ve had much time for self-reflection, therefore, some of us want to make changes and form a new normal like setting boundaries.

How are you doing in this area?  Consider a few scenarios. Your boss asks you to stay late for the fifth time this month.  Your mother-in-law continues to show up unannounced.  Your spouse obliviously lets the dishes pile up in the sink.  Your friend asks to borrow more money even though he hasn’t paid you back from the last time.  Any of these sound familiar?

We all have had instances where we have been passive, but instead, assertiveness was needed.  Let’s discuss a few ways that you can take back control as you continue or begin your quest of a healthy, new norm.

First up, know your boundaries.  Boundaries can come in many forms including physical, emotional, digital, loose, rigid, etc.  The kind of boundary is not as important as being aware of the need for you to be healthy mentally and emotionally.  Know what you need and want from your various relationships.  If a situation with another person leaves you feeling uncomfortable or frustrated, a boundary may have been crossed.

Second, be ASSERTIVE.  I think I use assertiveness interventions more than any other intervention in my work with my clients.  To be assertive means to communicate your needs and wants timely (most important when trying to avoid recurring situations), respectfully, and positively. This is a key way to avoid conflict when you’re setting boundaries.

Third, keep it simple.  When communicating your boundaries, be mindful of over-explaining.  Sometimes a plain, direct ‘No’ is enough.  This may seem harsh at first, but if you have already taken the time to communicate your needs and wants and your boundaries are being pushed,  it is okay to confirm what you don’t want to do with ’No.’

When considering these three brief tips, remember that the goal in setting boundaries is for you to be mentally and emotionally, sometimes physically, healthy.  Why not start practicing some of these tips today as you work more on yourself during these trying and ever-changing times?

Here are some additional resources to assist:

-Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day by Anne Katherine, M.A.

-Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud

-Boundaries for Your Soul: How to Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts and Feelings into Your Greatest Allies by Alison Cook, PhD and Kimberly Miller MTh, LMFT

Still feeling like you may need additional help with this?  Let The Balanced Life assist you in becoming empowered!  Contact us at (256) 258-7777 or info@thebalancedlifellc.com.