Having the Hard Conversations about Race
- by Holly Walker, LPC-S
-
in General

I don’t know a single person who hasn’t been impacted by 2020 in some way, whether it be
testing positive for coronavirus, suddenly doing virtual work or school, or having strong feelings
about the police and/ or race relations. Believe me, I feel it, too!
Sure, we can feel the pain like we did the weekend of March 13th when the United States shut down and travel
came to a screeching halt, stores and restaurants closed, and we had this new concept of “social
distancing”. Or the pain of school abruptly being closed that weekend and we were all in shock
because such a move was unprecedented in our lifetimes and made it all too real- this
pandemic. And just when we were starting to understand this “new normal”, along comes May
25 when George Floyd, now a household name, was killed by police officers in Minnesota.
Protests, looting, violence, and social media memes and posts flooded the news and replaced
the coronavirus for a period of time. What does all this have to do with a blog about mental
health, you ask? Everything, I say.
Everyone seems to have an opinion about the police, race relations, and George Floyd. Some
people post angry memes regularly on social media while others keep silent about their
thoughts and feelings regarding this issue. No matter when you fall on the spectrum, this is a
hurtful and serious situation for many. For me it begs the question, how do we begin to
understand the “other side” of where we ourselves are and move forward in a positive
direction? The answer is complicated and yet, it starts by truly listening.
I have learned that reading headlines, scrolling my Facebook newsfeed, or watching
commercials has become a challenge because I see inflammatory statements frequently.
Instead of taking an angry position of “telling people off”, I’d like to promote the idea of
listening, talking, and sharing in a respectful way. How do we go about listening in a way that’s
productive when it comes to sensitive and touchy subjects like the police, racism, and protests?
I came across a great handout that guides these very discussions inspired by Corey S. Kupfer’s
Authentic Conversations about Difference. I recommend reading through the link at least a few times and
choose a trusted friend, perhaps someone who thinks differently than you about this subject, and practice.
My goal in writing this blog is to encourage hope, openness, acceptance, and compassion.
Maybe if we can try this approach on an intimate one on one format, positive healthy change
will emerge when it comes to race relations. After all, we are all human and all have value and
self-worth.
I’d love to hear from you if you tried this approach and how it went. I can be reached at (256) 258-7777 x 102 or holly@thebalancedlifellc.com.