The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

How many times a day do you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Snapchat, and whatever new social media app is on the market? I will be the first to admit that I am guilty of picking up my phone to “check messages” and the next thing I know I am going down some random rabbithole on TikTok for 30 minutes or an hour.

It’s normal to feel the need to dissociate or block out the world around us for small bits of time. That’s exactly what happens when we become absorbed in our favorite book, tv show, or movie. But what happens when we continue to disconnect from the world around us and become inundated with misinformation, online social and political debates, false representations of other people’s lives, hatred and vitriol spewed towards one another, etc?

Social media was not originally designed to consume a major part of our lives and replace in-person social interactions. In its infancy, it was designed as a way to connect and share with friends and family we don’t see on a regular basis. Programmers quickly realized the potential for a profit and started to build programs using the same internal reward system as casino slot machines. Because we don’t know exactly what we will see when we open a program, the spontaneous reward can result in a feeling of excitement. Getting ‘likes' or positive comments results in small releases of dopamine, our “feel good” hormone. In addition, algorithms built into each platform are designed to identify your likes and interests so that you spend more time on that particular site or app. Dopamine hits and viewing content based on my own personal interests sounds great, so what’s the problem?

Research overwhelmingly links excessive social media usage to increased feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. This is partly because we are social creatures who are hardwired for interpersonal connection. Non-verbal communication such as eye contact, facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and physical touch are huge components of connection that we do not get through a computer screen or cell phone. We often misconstrue the meaning of content because we do not have the non-verbal information to know whether or not someone is joking or being sarcastic. This disconnection also drives bullying and trolling behaviors because it can give people a sense of boldness to type things they would never say to someone’s face.

Another major factor is the amount of misrepresentation and misinformation that saturates every social media platform. People are quick to post perfectly filtered and edited pictures of their latest vacation, happy family portraits, cute pets, personal and professional accomplishments, etc. Rarely do we see pictures of the laundry piled to the ceiling, messy kitchens, struggles with mental illness, failures, the list goes on. The COVID pandemic is a perfect example of how misinformation can spread like wildfire across social media. A major concern that I personally see in my own practice is the increase in self-diagnosis based on TikTok videos. While there are many wonderful licensed professionals who are creators on TikTok, the majority of mental health content is not produced by them. That’s a whole other issue that could be a blog post of its own though.

Don’t get me wrong, social media is not all bad. It’s great for connecting with family and friends, meeting new friends, and expanding our knowledge of the world. It’s a fantastic way to learn about events, connect with work colleagues, and share ideas and information. So how do we maximize the positive aspects of it while protecting our own mental health?

Insert social media hygiene and boundaries! Simply put, social media hygiene is about developing social media practices that are conducive to your health. The American Psychological Association (APA) defines boundaries as “a psychological demarcation that protects the integrity of an individual or group or that helps the person or group set realistic limits on participation in a relationship or activity.” Here are some tips for beginning your journey towards healthy social media hygiene and boundaries.

1. Document how you feel after engaging in social media. Does the information that you just absorbed leave you feeling happy and satisfied, or does it leave you feeling angry, annoyed, and disheartened? I challenge you to document this for one week and reflect on these feelings at the end of the week.
2. Turn off notifications. This disrupts the urge to pick up your phone every time you hear the notification tone.
3. Set a timer. This can help those of us who tend to lose track of time when we are scrolling.
4. Put your phone away. Place it across the room so that you have to physically get up in order to retrieve it.
5. Place a barrier on your phone. This can be something like a rubber band or small sticker on the screen. The purpose is to snap you to attention when you mindlessly pick up your phone to start scrolling.
6. Unfollow, block, or delete any person or page that consistently makes you feel bad. This can be hard, particularly when it comes to family and friends, but it’s important to cultivate a healthy social media environment.
7. Practice the three-strikes-you’re-out rule. When a person posts inappropriate or offensive material on your page it’s important to have clear communication about what will or will not be acceptable. If they continue to disrespect your boundary then it may be time to unfriend or block them.

Lucile Hernandez Rodriguez has a mindfulness based 30 Day Social Media Detox Plan that I encourage you to explore. It’s important to remember that we are the gatekeepers for our own mental wellness, so be intentional with how, when, and where you exert your mental energy. Use time away from social media to engage in self-care; exercise, read a book, coffee with a friend, take your pet for a walk, the possibilities are endless!

I also encourage you to consider seeking a therapist who can help you with developing and implementing boundaries in your personal and online life. Contact us at info@thebalancedlifellc.com or (256) 258-7777 for more information.