The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home and a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."

I love this quote from author, Melody Beattie. It’s one I often share at the end of my yoga classes. If you aren’t familiar with Ms. Beattie’s work, she’s the author of several books, with the most recognizable one being “Codependent No More”. Melody is no stranger to difficulty in life, having become an alcoholic by age 13 and a drug addict by 18. She spent time in court ordered treatment, married an alcoholic, and lost her son in a tragic accident when he was 12 years old. Yet, out of her struggles rose the desire to overcome and grow. She has published several books that have helped millions of people struggling with codependency, grief, and addiction. She continues to write today at the age of 74.

What Melody demonstrates through her work is that looking at things in life through a lens of gratitude changes those experiences. Rather than it being a complete waste of time or an utter tragedy, there is always something we can be grateful for even in the darkest times.

I often talk to clients about the perspective we choose to take in life, a “lens” that we view the world through. Once a teacher client and I were talking about a student in her class who was having difficulty. If she viewed this student through the lens of being a “bad kid”, she would find all sorts of evidence to support that perspective. However, if she looked at him as a kid who needed support or was having a hard time, the compassion she would then feel would inevitably impact the way she interacted with him. She would be more patient and kind and even discipline would be managed in a more positive way, rather than chronically annoyed and even angry at him.

If we choose to look at our lives through a lens of gratitude, we will consistently find things that we actually appreciate and are grateful for- often that we’ve taken for granted before. In my yoga classes, we talk about being grateful for our bodies and will consider what amazing and beautiful machines they are. This is a radical departure from the critical and harsh attitude many people have towards their bodies.

The same is true for our relationships. The more time I spend focusing on what I appreciate about my husband and what I’m grateful for in our marriage, the more evidence I find to support that perspective! John Gottman, a leading marriage researcher, has a great exercise on perspective in one of his books (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work). In the exercise, each person in the couple commits to nurturing their fondness and admiration for each other. Each day for several weeks, they make a point of expressing something they really like or admire about each other, the more specific the better. Who doesn’t want to hear something like this every day?! We can do this with gratitude as well. Looking at your partner through a lens of gratitude helps you notice the things he or she does that you appreciate and expressing that to him or her further solidifies that feeling within you (bonus- it reinforces that behavior in your partner!).

There’s lots of research out there that supports the idea that a daily gratitude practice helps someone come to a place of greater peace and acceptance and have an overall improved perspective in life. We have a tendency to let good things pass us by with hardly a second thought, but we can really ruminate on the negative things!  I encourage you to consider adopting an “attitude of gratitude”. Look for things each day that you are grateful for and spend time reflecting on that. Share those feelings of gratitude with someone. Spend some time journaling about the things you’re grateful for. It can really make a difference!

If you need help with cultivating an attitude of gratitude, give us a call at 256-258-7777 or email us at info@thebalancedlifellc.com. We are grateful to be a part of our clients' journeys!