The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

I turned 50 last Monday. Even just typing that feels a little surreal.

I can distinctly remember being a kid in elementary school and one day my mom and I ran into someone she hadn’t seen in a while, and they exclaimed “How has it been 20 years since we’ve seen each other?!”. My jaw dropped as I sized up my mom and the other woman and considered how they could possibly be that old that they had not seen each other in two decades. I’m most definitely in that stage of life where there are people that I was friends with (and in many cases still am on social media) as a kid and now haven’t seen them in *gasp* thirty years! I’m actually “that old” myself!

The cool thing is I’m really loving this stage of life. While I don’t feel “old” (what does that even mean?) I do feel wiser, calmer, more settled and at peace. I’ve lived long enough now to reflect on four decades of my life and I see how each decade I’ve lived has been filled with amazing experiences and opportunities, but life just keeps getting better as I age. I felt more myself than ever before in my 40’s so heading into my 50’s is pretty exciting based on the experiences of the last decade. Ingrid Bergman is quoted as saying “Getting old is like climbing a mountain: You get a little out of breath, but the view is much better”. It’s all about the valuable perspective we gain from having lived a life rich with experiences.

The saying “Youth is wasted on the young” is on pointe. I watch my daughter who’s a teen-ager (and is a really awesome one, by the way) navigate life and she just doesn’t know yet to appreciate her ridiculous metabolism, flexible body, and energy level. It seems we tend to only appreciate things once they start to change or are gone! But perhaps because we can learn to appreciate those things that we once took for granted, we can become a better steward of our minds and bodies by being more mindful of our diets, exercise, intellectual stimulation, social contact and spiritual nourishment.

Many people fear the aging process (ironically, we are aging from the second we are born but for about 21 years we can’t wait to get older and then after that we are desperately fighting to hold onto our youth!) and even more the idea of death itself. We cling to our ideas of what happens after we die to bring comfort to ourselves while we are still living. Us humans have a really hard time with the unknown. But over the years of practicing and teaching yoga, I have come to a place of peace and acceptance about the unknown.

Yoga is a mindfulness practice and in cultivating the ability to be fully in the moment, we also acknowledge the present moment is all there is. Ruminating over the past or worrying about the future takes us out of the only moment that exists. By practicing mindfulness, I’ve accepted that I don’t know what is beyond this moment. I can plan for it but don’t control whether there actually will be one. I can fully enjoy my life as it’s happening to me. It helps me be more engaged with the people around me and intentional about bringing my best self to the interactions I have with them. That sets me up for whatever is to come once I die. I either get that eternal reward of life in Heaven, I reincarnate as something better or my energy changes to another form but the time in this body was a good one. I see it as a win all the way around.

I follow a few women on Instagram who have documented their process with going natural with their hair and letting the gray or white be their new normal. I admire them, especially how they deal with the negative comments- random people insulting them that they look “old” or unattractive, simply because they no longer want to color their hair. I stopped coloring mine almost two years ago and have felt liberated. I love the new gray and it’s a whole lot less expensive! I also follow a few women who are pro-aging and are focused on helping women stay healthy and active in mid-life and beyond. They too get criticized. For trying to help women feel empowered and strong and beautiful no matter how old they are. It’s sad and I commend them for staying the course so that perhaps one day we can change the narrative about beauty in our society, that currently is hyper focused on youth being about the only way to be beautiful. I read recently that the anti-aging industry in the U.S. is estimated to be worth about 58.5 billion dollars. Whoa. “We are fed a toxic message that youth is good and old is bad” (medium.com) and it’s time that message changes.

In the sweet birthday card from my sweet TBL coworkers, they included the quote from Mark Twain- “Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many”. This is such a poignant thought. Why would we want to waste any moment we have on earth living a harsh, critical, negative experience? Why not treat our beautiful, amazing bodies with reverence and our minds with the utmost respect? What if we commit to relishing each moment, even the hard ones, because this is our one shot at life and there is always something to learn and grow from?  This is our chance to make a difference, whether it's with those in our close circle or on a larger scale.

I hope that wherever you are in your life, you will take some time to reflect on how to be more engaged in your life. Maybe you consider how you will commit to taking better care of your physical body or your mind. Relish the privilege of being alive and slow things down in your life so you are prioritizing what’s truly important to you. If we can assist you in living a more peaceful, purposeful life at any age, please contact us at info@thebalancedlifellc.com or call 256.258.7777.

“It’s not how old you are…it’s how you are old” – Jules Renard