The Balanced Life, Huntsville Alabama

Let’s be honest.  We all struggle with comparing ourselves to others.  We compare relationships, accomplishments, physical appearance, intelligence, money—and the list goes on and on.  At times, this comparison leads us to believe that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

I have a confession to make. I am NOT perfect, nor do I have my stuff together 100% of the time. Actually, if I had to estimate on my best days I’m probably tracking at 75% of my stuff being together. I too forget things, procrastinate, and/or engage in other totally human behavior. I've found that life is much more enjoyable and my relationships are better when I give myself and others a break for being less than perfect. Also playing “Patty Perfect” is exhausting. Below you will find ways to give yourself and others a break when we fall short. 

I often hear from clients that they struggle with motivation for a variety of reasons.  And I must admit that I do, too, from time to time.  What is it about that word “motivation” that can make us feel on top of the world and the bottom of the barrel?  Truth be told, I recently felt stuck and had a difficult time finding my motivation.  It was like I was resisting positivity in my life and had this invisible wall between me and my progress. 

Most of the time, I feel very grounded and centered. I take things in stride. I feel my emotions but I don’t tend to get carried away by them. I don’t sweat the small stuff. But, one day recently, I wasn’t able to do this.

For the first time in many years, we did not have a child starting school on the first day of school in our district because our youngest graduated in May.  This was a strange feeling for me and one that brought many emotions, from excitement for the next phase and a little sadness because this phase is over.  I tend to be sentimental and nostalgic by nature and enjoy reflecting on the phases of life and how the passage of time brings change and today, I will share some of those thoughts with you.

Just take a moment and consider how many “true friends” you have? And don’t count the 500 plus social media “friends” you claim. How many can you name? And how do you know they are “true friends?”

It’s that transitional time of the year again when summer break is officially winding down and there are less than two weeks before most schools start back.  For parents, it is sometimes a relief for their kids to go back to school, but for children and adolescents, it can be a feeling of dread to get back into the routine of schoolwork and waking up early. 

Growing up one of my father’s favorite sayings was “Pain/disappointment/discomfort builds character and/or humility”. A little background. My father grew up in extreme poverty, served, active duty, in the military for 24 years, and has had a series of health issue resulting from his service in the military, so the man knows a thing or two about discomfort. Uncomfortable situations, failure, and disappointment are all facts of life we will experience. However, what separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls is how we deal and adjust to things going wrong.

We’ve all heard the dismal statistics about divorce: somewhere in the 40-50% range is the likelihood that a first marriage will end in divorce. It goes up for subsequent remarriages.  There seems to be more of a casual attitude about marriage with divorce not being as stigmatizing as it has been in the past. However, research shows that stable, happy marriages increase emotional and physical well-being, including extending the lifespan.  

When I think of our forefathers who founded this country, I consider how they must have felt trapped by the way things were run in their home country of Great Brittan.  In addition to feeling trapped, other words that come to mind are oppressed, afraid, emotional, and at times hopeless.  And yes, it’s true, I’m making a stretch here to connect July 4^th’s Independence Day to this week’s blog, but I wonder if many of us feel the same way (trapped, oppressed, afraid, emotional, and at times hopeless) by the chaos in our lives. 

You may have seen the national campaign “Play 60” promoted to encourage children to be physically active for at least 60 minutes every day. Just as playing contributes to physical health for children, the same can be said for emotional health of adults and their marriages! Research has found emotional intimacy to be a strong predictor of happy marriages. Emotional intimacy can be increased in many ways and among them is shared leisure activities, or playing!